Crazy*!>>

He said “they think you’re crazy”
How could it possibly matter?

When it was you I wanted
Your hands caressing my waist
Your lips on mine
Your thoughts
Your touch
Insanity personified?
I doubt it Casanova
Would you agree to me being crazy then?
Nuhuh
Funny part is..
I would.

Now?
I’m not so sure.
For once I actually know what I want.
Hold it… it’s not you!
It’s the feeling you gave me in the beginning
The all powerfulness
The belief that I was beautiful and I could do anything I set my mind to
I still can.
But somehow your confirmation matters.
Why?

“I found telling you the truth the hardest thing to get out
I know it wasn't you that made me feel this way
Will it ever change
Or are we stuck here on our own.

And give it one more try
I don't know if I would stay
I feel so much better now”


“I can’t take it anymore”

I never could.

Chal haan
She’s the crazy lady bete
Don’t talk to her
Don’t look her in the eye
Don’t let her get too close
She might take your all
And leave you with nothing.

Which is everything you had in the first place.

OMG!!!

“Omg! You look soo hot”

“I lurrve your new shoes.. Aldo?”

“Heyy sexy did you watch gossip girl yesterday? Nate is gorgeous! That time they kissed my insides totally melted.”

“Did you know that rahul and diya broke up yesterday? He’s such a bastard.
But wait didn’t diya cheat on him? She was quite friendly with that guy in college wasshissname arjun maan!”

And I am one with them.
These idiots I call my friends
Their world revolves around movies and break ups and real life turns reel
Clones of each other
Same straightened hair, asymmetrical hairstyles, leggings, piercings, blankness mirroring pretty vacant kohl lined eyes
They parrot their idols
A sham of the present.

And I join then
Mocking their insecurities
A broken nail, split ends, sleeves outta fashion, earrings too big
They amaze me
With the seamless way in which they weave through reality
Never stopping to actually think.
Do they know how?
Or do they just do what mommy says?
The things we’re meant ‘not’ to do
Smoking drinking doping
All part of the great plan

Does that fill your emptiness little one?
Can you see through the shimmering curtains the broken glass the cobwebbed corners of the pretty painted room?

I can.
Beneath all the hairspray and the face varnish and the glitter
We’re all ugly.

Does that scare you?
It’s the truth.
If they told you otherwise,
‘They’ lied.

~Smile!*

Everybody’s painting faces
Masks that shame the sun
Make up fake up
Fall 
Your call
Grab those brushes
We have another one to do
Fast before they see the truth
The lies the deception the distortion
Of reality’s impression.

First the eyes
Give them that blank look
The one that simpers at will
The one that calls on those
Who as time rides you wish you’d hid from.
The gaze that holds those
Who have you in the palm of their hand
So you can act like
They mean nothing at all.

Then the smile
Most important
Has to appear real and welcoming
Wide, lipstick red, pouty, sassy
Empty
Full
Seductive sensuous 
Superficial
Like you mean it.

Body language
It betrays everything
Play your part
To ‘their’ script.
If you drift
They will point and laugh
You don’t want that.
Stick your chest out
Walk tall chin up
Stride like it’s yours
Move in for the kill
Kill
And eat.

Smile.

You DO mean it.