Inhale
Why? WHY? God! Just LEAVE. Run. I don't fucking want you in my head. Get out.
I don't care. No, seriously. You don't matter and you're taking up my goddamn board headspace I need it for formulae and big words and economic jargon NOT YOU! This isn't fair its not fucking fair I can't keep doing this to myself I'm just sick and tired of your face but today I was running across the road and I saw someone who looked like you from the back and fuckyou I stopped in the middle of the godforsaken road in the middle of the busiest goddamn road in the whole of Bombay and only because I thought I saw you and my heart skipped a beat even though i've told it over and over again that it doesn't fucking matter and I dont care I DON'T but still it just goes and skips a beat a fucking heartbeat I skipped a fucking heartbeat for you and that wasn't even you what am I supposed to do I don't know I just don't know I'm just going to get out and run NOW yes now and just fucking not not into you please God not into you or maybe I'll crash and you'll stand and watch me pick up the pieces because that's what you've become but you know what I won't fucking pick up the pieces I will just move on because that's what you've done and if you ever read this it's not about you because fuck I really don't fucking care it's about what I don't want to become I can't even hurt you because I don't I don't hurt people because I have some biological defect where I don't have a fucking off switch and everyone I know does and they care and crash then they don't care anymore but I'm just here and I'm fucked I just have all these little buttons that say ON I WANT AN OFF ONE and I don't want you I was just I don't know suprised to see you in the middle of the road right there right where I live but it wasn't you and you don't believe me but I don't want you I want to be wanted and if you wanted me it would only make things easier but fuck you know everybody lies and I have to stop because this is just so fuck fuck fuck I need to get out and cross more roads and push you into traffic
I don't care. No, seriously. You don't matter and you're taking up my goddamn board headspace I need it for formulae and big words and economic jargon NOT YOU! This isn't fair its not fucking fair I can't keep doing this to myself I'm just sick and tired of your face but today I was running across the road and I saw someone who looked like you from the back and fuckyou I stopped in the middle of the godforsaken road in the middle of the busiest goddamn road in the whole of Bombay and only because I thought I saw you and my heart skipped a beat even though i've told it over and over again that it doesn't fucking matter and I dont care I DON'T but still it just goes and skips a beat a fucking heartbeat I skipped a fucking heartbeat for you and that wasn't even you what am I supposed to do I don't know I just don't know I'm just going to get out and run NOW yes now and just fucking not not into you please God not into you or maybe I'll crash and you'll stand and watch me pick up the pieces because that's what you've become but you know what I won't fucking pick up the pieces I will just move on because that's what you've done and if you ever read this it's not about you because fuck I really don't fucking care it's about what I don't want to become I can't even hurt you because I don't I don't hurt people because I have some biological defect where I don't have a fucking off switch and everyone I know does and they care and crash then they don't care anymore but I'm just here and I'm fucked I just have all these little buttons that say ON I WANT AN OFF ONE and I don't want you I was just I don't know suprised to see you in the middle of the road right there right where I live but it wasn't you and you don't believe me but I don't want you I want to be wanted and if you wanted me it would only make things easier but fuck you know everybody lies and I have to stop because this is just so fuck fuck fuck I need to get out and cross more roads and push you into traffic
Exhale
3 comments:
i like this piece! so this is what u were referring to yday... i soooo get it!!! i agree with u totally! i need that off button too!
btw, pretty cool blogspot uve got here ;)
Strength and rhythm in a quick relentless flow. Nicely done.
Haye. I get TERRIBLE stomach cramps and severe diarrhea after any of these accidental 'sightings'. Hehe. Too much information?
Spruha hoe thanks :)
Marina, ditto. It's like the inside of you misses a step with gravity. But, I'm guessing I have masochistic tendencies but some part of me craves that.
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