Like a fox

Hi
So I’m finishing the game you started on Brickbreaker but I’ve already lost 2 lives in 7 seconds and I’m suddenly fighting the urge to cry which I haven’t done but I don’t want to lose because you started it but when you think about it I started it and this is going to turn into one of those rants where I won’t know if I’m trying to tell you whether I love you or hate you but the beauty here is you can have both or live with none because you don’t have to see my face everyday and I wont have to play with your hair or let you push me off the bed or curl into you when everyone’s watching because it took me that much time to decide that just like how you said it’s not worth it to cry when you leave I changed my mind about how it’s not worth it to give a fuck about what anyone else thinks because you make me happy and the fact that you think I’m pristine and still me doesn’t help to not mourn about this THIS whole fucked up situation for a bit it could be anything from uptil right now or to every time I look at my wrist and see a watch that used to be yours because it used to be yours or every time I meet a boy who I’m magnetically attracted to but will never be you but hey you’re not dead but dealing is real and I miss you in a my hand reaches out and falls disturbingly when it doesn't find you way and I’m sorry I asked you out and I’m just sorry that I can find you anywhere because you light me up and you let me go and I owned you for a bit and even though you won’t know I let you own me and it made me smile.

I just started a new game. I can’t see your hand where it should be and it doesn’t make sense.
I’ll never win without you.

I’m crying.