Last Prayer

I feel sick.
My stomach’s churning, I can barely breathe, I choke on every word and tears cloud my eyes at the slightest provocation.
I am not lovesick.
No one died.
Yet.
I just lost my ipod.
The love of my life!
I left it on the bench in the foyer for a minute and then the wicked witch from the west stole it.
Whygod,
WHYME?
I swear to you on all that is good and holy that if I get it back,
Somehow,
1) I will no longer complain, grumble or whine.
2) And yeah yeah! I will do my math homework. I promise.
3) I will be nicer, specially to people I like ‘cause I’m usually a better person to those that I hate.
4) I will show some amount of concern when someone is sick, in love, in need etc.
5) I will do what I have to do without anyone telling me to.
6) I WILL STRIVE TO ACHIEVE SELF ACTUALISATION.
7) I will never ever be so careless and ahh yesss “irresponsible” again. I give you my word.
Please God, if you do exist and if you love your children and you want them to be happy and live longer you will guide me to my ipod.


Thank you
Amen.