~

So I almost died today.

Lost one of my lives at any rate.

Everyone watching thought I was flying.

But me?

I was falling.

And if you tell me one more time what a fucking idiot I am for jumping off a fast, moving train I will show you my scars and you will feel guilty.
Though I know, in your weird way which is so close to human but not quite, you’re telling me that you love me and that you’re happy I’m safe and alive.
And when I laugh at your awkwardness and your inability to express it, you will raise your eyebrows, thrash those parts of me that aren’t bruised and bleeding already and you will hug me

And I won’t know whether those are tears or a sheen of sweat cause you won’t let me see.

Me?

I’m crying.