No Air

Slow down, you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?
..................

“This can’t be it”, she muttered to herself, staring at the stiff unyielding paper she was twisting nervously in her hands.

“Anaka, stop it! Are you mad?” her mother reprimanded fiercely, snatching it out of reach, holding it up against the light to check for damages.

Anaka glanced absent mindedly at the sheet that inexplicably determined her future.
89.84% it said in stark embossed black and white.

She’d missed a 90% by one mark.

She could already imagine her parents letting the lie spill off their tongue as they proudly declared to anyone of consequence that their daughter had got a 90%.

Sounded so much better, they told her later, than a drab 89. whatever. She wondered if they’d stick to their word of a puppy present if she got a 90. She doubted it. It’s ironic how effortlessly we fail those we are entrusted to.

She could already envision her future stretching blindly in front of her.
Xaviers maybe, Law School after that, years of internships, a steady income, marriage, a house, a car, 2 kids, a pension, family holidays..round and round and round.
And the circle of life was supposed to reek of stability.
Hah!
She felt sick.
This isn't what she wanted.
She wanted to backpack through Europe
Learn the language of the stars
Dance in the moonlight
Date every sun sign
Work on a safari in Africa.
Perform a miracle.
Cry.
Learn the drums
Write a novel
Work for the police force
Discover a planet
Find God

..................

How do you explain freedom to someone who doesn’t know he has been caged?

Nymph says:
-Tell me something

H@De$--She'll make you live a crazy life but she'll take away your pain. Like a bullet to your brain says:
-?

Nymph says:
-Is this all there is?

H@De$--She'll make you live a crazy life but she'll take away your pain. Like a bullet to your brain says:
-For now..

Nymph says:
-What happened to watching the sunset and Paris in the springtime and snow in the Himalayas and Chinese men with yum food and that pink bubblegum that never loses its flavour?

H@De$--She'll make you live a crazy life but she'll take away your pain. Like a bullet to your brain says:
-Happens to the lucky ones
H@De$--She'll make you live a crazy life but she'll take away your pain. Like a bullet to your brain says:
-We're stuck with having to grow up first

You've got your passion, you've got your pride
but don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true

I want out.
I want the key to my cage.